Saturday, 7 March 2009


Okay, I lied when I said there was nothing new... but I didn't know then... didn't know until I got the call late last night after I got home from work... my phone never rings at 12:30 a.m. My heart jumped when it rang... and rightly so, it turns out.

Debbie is my oldest and bestest friend. We have been best buds for 36 1/2 years. She now lives in Texas.... far south from here... nursing in warmer climes.... has been down there for almost 17 years.

She called me last night. I haven't been able to talk to her for a week, as she was in California visiting her daughter who is in the Coast Guard. They had a family trip out to sea on the ship the Coasties work on. So she was incommunicado for a while. I had emailed her and called her home but got nothing back until last night.

Debbie called me... to tell me she has cancer. Bladder cancer. Her dad died of bladder cancer. Up here in Canada, where the health care system crawls at a snail's pace. Down there in Texas, it is much faster... roadrunner speed.

So she has already had a CT scan and bloodwork done and goes in on Monday for surgery to have it scraped out and sent for biopsy. She may need radiation therapy. She may need chemo.

The level of invasion is unknown until they get in there and see it. If it is superficial, the prognosis is good - but how deep it goes into the layers of the bladder determines how deadly it is.

I can only hope it is early and being caught before it burrows deep. I can only hope that my best friend in the universe... my soul sister... will survive to grow old with me.

I am terrified for her. She is so scared! Talking last night, her voice kept breaking and I was trying so hard to not lose it myself. I need to be strong for her. Her husband is a doll and is there for her, totally. But her two daughters (21 and 19) are nonchalant - they are in denial and really don't understand the situation, I don't think. And that hurts her.... like they don't care.... but I don't think they comprehend that she could die.

I do... I know only too well about that. I am terrified for me as well. I don't want to lose another person that I love.... there have too many losses in this lifetime already.


  1. i am so sorry to hear this, sugar! i hope that everything will be positive and has been caught in time. i'm keeping good thoughts for all ya'll. my heart is yours. xoxox

  2. Just a phonecall - and everything is different. Hope they recognized it early enough. And can act fast. Otherwise it may be a long goodbye. Chemo is still hell on earth, radiation became very sophisticated over the years. It's a torture anyways.
    Burying another friend would seriously derail me now. Ja, ich hoffe, dass Ihr beide davon kommt.

  3. It's gonnae be a tough time for everyone involved princess. It's a time for closeness, for being there for her, and for her family.

    I hope all goes well for your pal, and that the outcome is positive. Keep the faith.

  4. I wish all the best for Debbie. Best to you as you support her.

  5. Any chance of getting over to see her?
    Wishing you and your friend the best.

  6. I'm so sorry to hear this :( I really hope she comes out ok and that they've caught it in time. Best wishes to you both.

  7. Hi Ponita,

    I finally make it over to your digs only to discover troubling news. The word "cancer" has such a paralyzing effect when spoken, but we can hope and pray that all goes well for your friend. It's good she has you to confide in and that you are there to give her the support and encouragement that is surely needed.


  8. I lost my mom, my cousin and my uncle to cancer, all in the past few years. The word scares the hell out of me.

    I wish that there was something I could do or say to comfort you, but there isn't. Just know that you and Debbie are in my thoughts and prayers.

  9. I want to thank all of you for your kind words and support. She has surgery on Monday. After that, we will see what further treatment is needed. And how she does once the tumour is out.

    Keep your fingers (and any other appendages) crossed that all goes well and it is still superficial. I am.

    I will see her as soon as I can... I just don't know when that will be.

  10. Oh, dear. We have reached the age when those we've loved the longest and hold most dear become vulnerable. The thought of losing yet another is too much to bear. I hope and pray for good news.

  11. I hope everything works out well. I feel for your pain and wish you strength and hope in these difficult times.

    I think you're right about your friend's daughters--they are the first stages of grief. You are being a true friend, and that means the world to your best friend.

  12. I'm so sorry to hear about this, but she's clearly in good hands and I'm sure she's getting the best treatment possible.

    Be strong for her - I'm sure she appreciates you being there for her, despite the distance between you. I'm thinking of you both.

  13. Jonas, Eros and Tim: Thank you for your kind comments. She was in the OR earlier today and I now await news of what was found. It has been an emotional day for me and I have been on the verge of tears a few times, but am being strong for her.

    Thank you for sharing your strength with me... each and every one of you. It is much appreciated. I *heart* all of you!


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