Chillin' Out

So my second Covid vaccine shot happened on Jan. 7th. I took two shifts off in anticipation of feeling like crap for a bit. That actually didn't happen at all! I was surprised, but pleasantly so. I wasn't really looking forward to running a fever, feeling achy and super tired at all, even if only for a day or so. I was told I would have 95% immunity in a week after that. So happy I was able to get the vaccine!

However...

I am just starting the 2nd of 2 weeks off work. Doctor's orders. Because I was having some pretty bad stress symptoms. He wanted me to take time off before I cracked.

Now, I am always been the "steady Eddie" kind of person. Rock solid in the face of stressful situations. Not fazed by much at all. But this pandemic, the increased stress at work (often working short staffed, having an increase in really sick patients, management saying 'yes, change is stressful but you will adapt' bullshit, etc) and the isolation from friends and family has really gotten to me.

I haven't seen my family in 10 months, other that my younger sister a handful of times. No family birthdays, no Easter or Thanksgiving dinners, no Christmas gathering, no pool parties at my nephew's in the summer. Zippo. I live alone, which usually isn't an issue. I have done it for years and actually like not having another person in the house most of the time. The cats are pretty good company. But not being able to see anyone else is a lot different than choosing to not see anyone. I miss them all desperately. I miss being able to hug someone. My family hugs a lot.

I wasn't sleeping well at all, and I was having nightmares, where I would be running for my life, or fighting for my life, there would be knives or swords or other weapons, and I would wake up with adrenaline surging and heart pounding. Try going back to sleep after that! Nope... just doesn't happen. And I was having a lot of GI symptoms. Not fun when you have to bolt to the bathroom multiple times a day. I have discovered I don't tolerate Imodium (Loperamide) to slow my gut down. It makes me feel absolutely awful, and loopy in the head. My doc tells me there is a name for the syndrome for people who do not tolerate narcotics of any kind. Of course, I don't remember what it is... he did tell me, I swear. I already know things like morphine and codeine (which include Tramadol, a synthetic codeine) make me physically ill. So the Imodium (which some people actually take because they want to get that loopy feeling ~ yay, party drugs...) is off the table for me.

So my doc gave me a letter to be off work for 2 weeks. And a script for Lorazepam 1 mg at bedtime, to help me sleep. It has been a little over a week now and I have stopped the frequent bathroom trips. I have been sleeping better and only one bad dream but after 5 days of taking the full 1 mg of Lorazepam at bedtime, I cut it back to 1/2 mg because my head was so foggy during the day. Still felt foggy with that, so know I have cut it to 1/4. The pills are so small, it is difficult to cut into 1/4s with my pill splitter, but I am doing my best. So still helping with sleep. And my head feels better too... I feel functional.

So functional, I have started updating my kitchen! I have one more week to get a bunch of stuff done. We will see how much I can get done in that time. I have to patch walls, paint the ceiling and walls, install new floor tiles (after ripping out the old vinyl sheet flooring) and updating the light fixture over the back landing. I got started yesterday by cutting back a cupboard so I can relocate the fridge. I discovered that this cupboard must have been painted red at some point. I cannot imagine red cupboards in this tiny kitchen!! Wish me good energy to get a good portion of this done.