Wednesday, 1 April 2009
My bestest and oldest (well, longest time but not oldest, cuz I am 9 months older) girlfriend, Debbie, once had a revealing conversation with her eldest daughter.
The daughter is now 21 and this conversation took place a couple of years ago, shortly after Debbie and I had been talking on the phone (she lives in Texas).
The gist of the conversation was... daughter states she is jealous of how long Debbie and I have been such good friends, how it seemed so easy for us, and how she (daughter) didn't have any friends like that.
Debbie looked at her and said that even friendships require effort to keep them alive and healthy. It doesn't just happen on it's own. You make the effort to keep in contact (especially for us because we have lived far away from one another for many years) and to let the friend know that you care. You are there for them if they need you. In whatever capacity you can manage.
You tell them you love them. You wish them happy birthday, you are the ear they need when they have to vent and the shoulder when they need to cry. You are there to share the laughs and the memories, and to make new ones as time goes on.
Her daughter had no idea. Debbie and I have been best buds for almost 37 years. We've had some rough times, just like any relationship. We even went for about 2 years without talking. And now, we can't even remember why!
But what it comes down to is, if you consider someone to be your friend, and you truly care about them, you will make the effort to keep in contact and to let them know that you care. Period. Distance doesn't matter. Especially nowadays with email and IMing, webcams and internet phone calls. Contact couldn't be any easier if you lived on the same street.
So just make sure that your friends... the ones you love... know that you feel that way... that they are important to you. Call them. Tell them. Because if you don't put any effort into the friendship, it will die a slow and lingering death. And one day you will wonder how you ever let that happen.
To all my friends, be they ones I have known for years or ones I have met recently through blogging, you are all important to me. I just wanted to say...