The cutting edge of alone-ness
is slowly whittling away
at my resolve... my strength
wanes at times leaving me
feeling small and defenseless
I harp at those living under my roof
innocent as they are to any
wrongdoing, just wanting affection
and a piece of my time
while no one else
seems to have time for me
so the blade of one needing one
grows dull and rusting
from nonuse
memories of emotions
fleeting through the dark
alone
is slowly whittling away
at my resolve... my strength
wanes at times leaving me
feeling small and defenseless
I harp at those living under my roof
innocent as they are to any
wrongdoing, just wanting affection
and a piece of my time
while no one else
seems to have time for me
so the blade of one needing one
grows dull and rusting
from nonuse
memories of emotions
fleeting through the dark
alone
You keep writing girl, it gets it out of your head and into the world. That's why I sing!
ReplyDeleteMap, sometimes I just want to stand in the middle of the road and holler at the universe. I don't know that the writing helps... but I don't know what else to do.
ReplyDeleteI sing too... although only to the radio or stereo... and music moves my soul in a big way... but it is no catharsis for me.
I hope some of those guys up there come to their senses and help get the edge back!
ReplyDeleteHi Ponita,
ReplyDeleteThis is quite emotional. A sadness (for me) but not a weariness.
"...my strength wanes at times" and yet it remains steadfast in spite of the cutting edge of alone-ness."...the blade of one needing one" reminds me of how one use to sharpen a knife; iron sharpening iron as the metals strike against each other.
Ponita I want for nothing but you to be happy.
U
XL: I am not holding my breath... I would probably keel over if I did that. :-(
ReplyDeleteU: Despite all the heartache and despair I feel at times, I have an inner strength that never ceases to amaze me...
I have a steel for sharpening my kitchen knives... I know exactly what you mean... like needs like to regain that edge... and I am losing it slowly...
Thank you, my friend, for your heartfelt concern. It is appreciated.
There is many an empty man who stands alone in a sea of people. But there is also many a man who stands alone, and is comforted by the presence of his five senses.
ReplyDeleteOccasionally we all bark at the moon doll.
Hope today brings a peace.
ReplyDeleteDear, I want to say something encouraging, friendly and well "hopefull" that makes this feeling go away and vanish, but sadly I do not know the right word. Not in English and not in my own language. It will pass. Things sometimes need time and space. I really hope you feel better. You have courage, you have yourself, Du bist wertvoll.
ReplyDeleteThat is marvellous Ponita.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to read it again.
Thats deep that is :-)
ReplyDeleteYou've a gift for expressing very deep, heartfelt emotions. I think that it's great that you're brave enough to share these poems with us. They are fantastic.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was younger, I used to write in a journal, and some of my best work was when I was experiencing a crisis. I could've been better than Jewel, except I didn't live out of a car or eat out of dumpsters. There's something about writing that taps into the very soul, and lets the heart express itself with the mind finding the right words. You have a gift.
And just know that you've friends who care for you and wish you the best. Some people don't have even that. You have many loved ones who are glad to have you in their lives.