Wednesday, 17 February 2010

Any good ones left?

I'll tell ya... I am getting sick and tired of being strung a line... I am so ready to win that lottery and leave this frozen wasteland of a place, where men are wimps and women can't find a decent male specimen of the species to have any kind of a relationship with...

Mid January, a friend introduces me to someone she's recently met, whom she thinks is a nice guy. Turns out he's separated from a common-law relationship and agreed to my friend giving me his email address.

To make a long story short, we emailed, then met for coffee and hit it off quite nicely. Seemed like a very nice, down to earth kinda guy...and after a few dates, I sent a brief email basically saying hi, how ya doing, enjoyed the time we spent together.


Wait a couple days, send a text saying hi.


Wait another couple days.

Then, getting annoyed, email saying it's rather rude to not answer the email or the text, especially since the last I heard, he'd quite enjoyed our dates as well.

He tells me he was scared shitless by how we got along... and was only 5 1/2 months out of that old relationship and so was feeling like he wasn't ready to be dating again. Okay... fair enough... but why not just tell me that? So we talk, and agree no pressure, just see each other whenever, and we went out on a few more dates over the next couple weeks.

Then he says (again) he's not ready to be dating. Fine. But we are definitely still friends. So we were going to meet for a coffee and a visit this afternoon. That's all. Not even a 'date'.

He calls me this morning.... He's going to be getting back together with his ex... feels he has to give it one more try to see if there's anything there worth salvaging....

Fine... Been there myself (the trying again thing)... so I wish him luck... he apologizes and says he's sorry if he hurt me.

What actually hurt... was on FB today, his status showed 'married'.........................

That packed a pretty good sting.

Seems I didn't learn a thing from the last guy who asked if we could just be 'friends'....


  1. Sorry that you are getting the run-around. :(


  2. You're right, local men are spineless wimps, for the most part. The good ones are out there somewhere, I'm sure, but you don't see them often. I've always wondered what it is about the guys of our generation that makes them that way. My dad often used to remark on it when we girls started dating. His generation were men by the time they were 18, but our generation seem to have a hard time with the concepts of responsibility and commitment.

    Having said that, the married status on Facebook might be true, or it might not. I know people on there who say that they're married when they're not, but don't want random strangers hitting on them. Or maybe he's too uptight to use the in a relationship option, for whatever reason. Who knows? Bottom line, though, he's no prize, so good riddance.

    Might I suggest that you start looking across the pond for a suitable partner? It worked for me, and many of the other successful relationships I know. :)

  3. XL: Thanks for the hugs.... believe me, they are needed right now.

    Eleanor: They are... and I don't really understand why.

    But trying to meet someone long distance, especially that distance, is so very difficult! How do you get to know someone who lives 4000 miles away? Holidays here and there aren't a 'real life' situation... and packing up and moving is a very serious issue... for either party. I am so leery of trying that.... =|

    Then again... I sure ain't havin' any luck here! So what do I have to lose?

  4. Pony-doll, did I not tell you that windae shopping for wedding dresses on the first date was a recipe for disaster? For the love of god hen, will you no listen to anything we say?

    I'm no really the man to give advice on dating or relationships, I've been with Siobhan since I first fell for her at the age of eleven.

    Men are pigs.. we put sex first and a womans feelings after. We will lie, cheat and steal just to gain a 5 minute encounter, and then vanish before you can get both legs back in your jeans.

    You deserve better hen... much better than this fool. Celebrate the fact that you are no tied to a loser.

  5. You're better off without him!

    You have a big heart and you only see the best in people, so of course, you're going to run into some jackasses who'll take advantage of your kindness. Don't let those idiots hold you back or waste your time thinking about them. You just move on, keep going forward, and don't let those bad experiences keep you from enjoying life.

    Love is like life. It happens when you least expect it.

  6. xoxoxoxxo because, well, just because, sugar! when you least expect'll happen.

  7. Let me rephrase that sentence about a man from over the pond. I couldn't imagine conducting that kind of long-distance relationship, either. Lots of imports find their way over here, though, and that's what I was getting at. There are loads working in the health care field, so keep your ears open for an accent!

  8. I'll start lining them up already over here! :¬)


  9. I know what you mean, Ponita. The most interesting people in my life (outside my immediate circle of friends), are folks I've "met" via the Internet, yet haven't met.

    Beats me what to do with that. I haven't the foggiest.

  10. Will a little purple 'n silver bracelet make things a little better? FB me your wrist size, please, and crucially an address! Love 'n hugs xx

  11. I don't know about women, but men typically underestimate how long it takes to really put a relationship behind them. I know I once did, and as a result caused unnecessary upset to someone else who really didn't deserve it.

    But it does seem like he could have been a little more tactful about the whole thing. The Internet, for all its value, has a lot to answer for!

    Now, the best of luck with the Next Man, whoever he may be. He's out there somewhere waiting for you. What was it that Michael Bubbly said in song? ;-)

  12. You have a luck with them guys ... (Ponita)

  13. You're too nice for this to happen and I'm sorry you had to experience it. I do believe think Mr. Right comes along when you least expect it. I know. Not much consolation right now. Just glad you found out "Mr. Right Now" wasn't worthy of you.

    Have a hug... or 3 or 12. I think Map should pay you for our P.R. nagging, I mean promotion, by shipping you a few strong samples from across the pond. ;)

  14. I have to agree with Jimmy: men are pigs. Over the years, I have been known to snort a time or two. It's in both our genes and our jeans.

    I also agree with Eleanor's statement, "our generation seem to have a hard time with the concepts of responsibility and commitment." Add to that the inability to make a decision and you have a disaster.

    My feeling is that Mr. Right will come along when you least expect him. A total suprise. Kismet. And you'll look your worst for good measure.

    I could, of course, be full of crap.

  15. Its no consolation , but a few male friends here are internet dating and the same sort of thing happens to them , so it does seem both sexes are at it :-( . You WILL find the right one eventually , it just seems like a hard slog getting there :-)

  16. Hi Ponita,

    Over the past year you've certainly met a sampling of male pigs, but I won't go so far as to say, "all men are pigs". Rather, I choose to say (as Savannah did) that, "the ideal relationship happens when you least expect it."

    So I remain hopeful that Mr. Right will honestly reveal himself to my friend.

    Much love Ponita.


  17. Oh Pon, he was a fool and probably just too cowardly to be honest initially, so better off without him. When you least expect it, that's probably when you'll meet a decent bloke, just try and stay positive hon. ((XX))

  18. I met M. DeFarge when I'd given up, so I tend to go for the 'least expecting' approach. But it's still crummy meeting people who can't be grown up about their relationships. Hope all goes well in the future.

  19. Ponita, I hope you do not allow this to touch you too much. It is first a problem of this guy, and he took it with himself when he vanished.

  20. Just want to say thank you to everyone for you supportive and encouraging comments. I think this pissed me off more than hurt... because I've been shown just how many people can't be honest out there. It stung, yes, and I am sorely disappointed. But better now than later, I say! I am movin' on, folks!

    Stay tuned for future tales of excitement in the dating life of Ponita!

  21. Don't give up ... I found a keeper on Guardian Soulmates and followed my heart to the UK. It wasn't easy and not without sacrifice, but it was one of the very best decisions I ever made.

    For the record, I am almost fifty and have more relationship history than I would ever want to expose to the rest of the world, but believing in possibility and not settling for less than I deserve was important in finding a compatible love interest. Are we perfect people ... nope, but what we have together is so good that I have to pinch myself somedays.

    There are lots of men who turn out to be not who they said they were, but sometimes you meet one who is exactly who he claims to be.


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