Thursday, 9 June 2011

Nothing new here...

In fact, life is rather dull and boring.

Other than walloping my knuckle on the door frame Sunday night and spending the ensuing days watching the colour changes, that is. It looks rather like a bruised apple right now. But doesn't hurt, and functions quite normally, so I am not in the least concerned.

I went out on a date Tuesday evening, with a man I had dated briefly in early 2010. We had kept in touch off and on since then (he had gone back to his ex to try to work things out, which proved to be futile soon after, but by that time I had moved on), meeting for the occasional coffee and saying hi on facebook. 

I had liked him quite a bit when we first dated, but could understand giving things with the ex one more go. Been there, done that myself. (Obviously it didn't work for me either.) So when we both finally found ourselves single at the same time, and I had finally resolved to get out into the dating world again post LHB, he picked me up and off we went for dinner.

Well, it just isn't the same at all. I have tried to reason with myself that our 'relationship' has changed because of the friendship that has developed in the past year and a half. I have tried to just let things go with the flow.

But I also can't help but think that my feelings for LHB, which are still there but since he isn't there's nothing to be done about that, are getting in the way. Perhaps, even after all these months of seesawing through emotions, of being the 'other woman' for a time, although with full knowledge but certainly not willingly, it is just too soon for me to be making myself available.

So I think I will just draw back and let things set for a while. I don't feel comfortable trying to push myself into something where I cannot give emotionally to the other person, and that is what I feel would happen with this man. That is just not fair to him. He is a nice guy and doesn't deserve something like that.

Perhaps in the fall, after my shoulder has healed a bit and I feel up to it, I'll give it a go again. For now, I'll stick to walks, reading and amusing the cats.


  1. I think you are making the right choices. Look after yourself.


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