Monday, 23 November 2009

Laser Vision

For those of you who do or have ever lived with cats, you know that they have *ahem* special powers. (At least, in their own minds, they think they do...)

They are able to see beings from other dimensions that are not visible to the lowly human eye. They give chase, catch, mangle and kill those dimensional beings to keep our universe safe. (Of course, we think they've had a little too much catnip...)

They are able to leap tremendous heights, fling themselves through the air, twisting and turning, performing acrobatic feats of unparalleled skill. (They are, of course, going to deny every missed landing and bungled attempt with some rather pathetic excuse...)

Another thing they would have us believe is the awesomeness of their laser vision. Herein you will find a breakdown of the various types and colours of kitty laser vision and the uses for each (according to those three cats who reside in my household, at any rate).

This is the rare Neodymium laser,
useful for vaporizing opponents in tight spaces.

Here we have an example of Argon lasers, shortly after discharge.
These lasers are used when Kitty is in a threatening situation.

Argon lasers fully charged and ready to fire.
Note the intense focus of the lasers.

The Krypton laser slices and dices mice and other rodents with ease.
Here we see one laser charged.

The extremely rare Xenon lasers - reserved for the most serious of situations...
as in 'Don't dare to disturb me while I am relaxing.'

Krypton lasers can be supercharged in the event a rodent is ginormous.

Then there are the elderly whose lasers are no longer functional
and who just don't give a rat's ass!


  1. HA! Good stuff!

    RJ has a red laser and a green laser due to having a blue eye and a green one!

  2. Oh Hai XL!

    Lila has the orange and the red, having blue eyes. Pips does the green and blue, and the extreme green, which is almost white. She has green eyes.

    I lied about BB, the old cat... he has yellow eyes and can do the green lasers. But I don't have any pics of him like that. And he really doesn't give a rat's ass! ;-)

  3. Aye... they see things alreet... they see a mad woman dancing naked with the hoover of a neet.

  4. Jimmy, if they are seeing that, they're in the wrong house. I happen to have a Kenmore. ;-P

  5. Hi Ponita,

    You and the feline posse have been quite informative and entertaining today.


  6. I always learn such amazing science fact -- er -- fiction on your blog! :)

  7. Eric's special power was to make me actually smile when he woke me at 3am with some trivial request.
    Yes - I find it hard to believe as well

  8. U: We aim to please! ;-)

    Map: Tanks! You too! How ya doing, hun? xoxo

    Andrea: Whadya mean.... fiction?!?! It's all true! ;-)

    Kaz: You must really like that cat if you can smile when he wakes you at 3 am.... :-|

  9. I'm going to have nightmares about cats' eyes glaring at me now. I feel guilty of something.

  10. I fear the armed kittehs!!

  11. Hey Pon, I'm doin' fine, ta. Coming into the busy season now so lots of singing ahead, and I'm always up when providing the backdrop to a good party!



So you have something to say about all this, do you?
Well, let's hear it, then!