"The real voyage of discovery consists

not in seeking new landscapes
but in having new eyes."

- Marcel Proust

Laser Vision

For those of you who do or have ever lived with cats, you know that they have *ahem* special powers. (At least, in their own minds, they think they do...)

They are able to see beings from other dimensions that are not visible to the lowly human eye. They give chase, catch, mangle and kill those dimensional beings to keep our universe safe. (Of course, we think they've had a little too much catnip...)

They are able to leap tremendous heights, fling themselves through the air, twisting and turning, performing acrobatic feats of unparalleled skill. (They are, of course, going to deny every missed landing and bungled attempt with some rather pathetic excuse...)

Another thing they would have us believe is the awesomeness of their laser vision. Herein you will find a breakdown of the various types and colours of kitty laser vision and the uses for each (according to those three cats who reside in my household, at any rate).

This is the rare Neodymium laser,
useful for vaporizing opponents in tight spaces.

Here we have an example of Argon lasers, shortly after discharge.
These lasers are used when Kitty is in a threatening situation.

Argon lasers fully charged and ready to fire.
Note the intense focus of the lasers.

The Krypton laser slices and dices mice and other rodents with ease.
Here we see one laser charged.

The extremely rare Xenon lasers - reserved for the most serious of situations...
as in 'Don't dare to disturb me while I am relaxing.'

Krypton lasers can be supercharged in the event a rodent is ginormous.

Then there are the elderly whose lasers are no longer functional
and who just don't give a rat's ass!

Steamed

I'm miffed... at Mother Nature.

The unseasonable weather we've had all bloody year, with a brutal winter last winter, cool and soggy spring that lasted until the end of August, the three weeks of blazing hot sunny summer we got in September and the extended warm and sunny fall we've been enjoying right up to the present (which will continue until well into December, if I have my way) has wreaked havoc on the environment and us lowly humans in many ways. I won't go into any of them except the one that has affected me directly!

FLEAS!!!!!

Yes, you heard me right... fleas! Of all things! I have always kept everyone well groomed, manicured and clean. For crying in the sink, no animal in my house has had a flea problem in over 20 years! Until now... and the weather is to blame.

It would appear that the hot weather in September led to a flea infestation in the cute little bunnies that inhabit this little corner of the universe. Actually, the rabbits are an infestation in and of themselves. There are so many it is ridiculous! But they are cute and harmless and I don't have a garden that they can destroy, so who cares.

Except... now I do! Because they are the bearers of the fleas. And the bunnies runneth through my yard on a whim. They flit under the fences, hang out under the deck, congregate in the grass, depositing pellets absolutely everywhere (but that seems to counteract the dog pee so the lawn actually looks pretty good).

All of which is well and good, until the little buggers also deposit fleas in the grass, which my dog then gives a ride into the house.

The end of October, I took Lila in to the vet's to be spayed. She was six months old on the 27th, so for her birthday, she got her girlie parts removed. Not that she needed them, and she certainly hasn't missed them.

The vet tech gives me a call that afternoon to tell me that the surgery went well and Lila is fine but...

Now, I don't like hearing that word when it comes to any of my animals, because it usually means very big bucks (recall "That Damn Cat" and the heat duct episode?), which are in very short supply at the moment. The 'but' this time was fleas. Lila has fleas.

I am dumbfounded! All three of the cats are house cats - they don't go outside... ever! And Lila, being a baby, has only ever been outside - twice - in a carrier going from house to vehicle to vet and back again. She's never even set foot on soil in her life!

So where the hell did the fleas come from??? The only one of the four (three cats, one dog) who was scratching and itching was BB, the old man, and he'd been doing that for years. I had noticed that he'd really been going to town on himself and I was having to medicate some of the areas he was scratching raw, but I just figured it was something a 15 1/2 year old cat would do. Especially one that had always been a bit of an overzealous groomer.

They sprayed Lila, as well as spayed her. She came home with a naked belly and a bottle of flea spray . Which I promptly used on everyone, dog included. Once a week. But man! it stinks! And poor Pips spits all over the place and foams at the mouth and is in obvious distress when I use it on her.

So I decided to change tactics. I poured some of the flea spray into the pet shampoo bottle and gave all three cats a bath tonight. The dog is wearing a flea collar and I can't bathe her by myself. (You try keeping 100 lbs of dog in the tub with one hand while trying to scrub away at that ginormous body with the other... it just ain't possible.)

Needless to say, the cats are safely ensconced in the spare bedroom with a space heater going so they can dry out and groom in warmth. I don't need three soggy cats on the livingroom furniture or my bed...

But I am sure you can figure out for yourselves that they are none too pleased with me...

That stuff tastes like shit... or something...

GAK!! It's even between my toes...

Water in my ear... water in my ear... gotta geddit out... gotta geddit out...

I mean... REALLY... how could you???

(licklicklicklicklicklick)

What the hell just happened???

Up Date

Because Scarlet is hooked on the sordid tales of my nonexistent love life... because Savannah lives vicariously through my adventures in Datingdom, because Jimmy and Map seem confused about the male species here across the pond, I am going to give you all a (hopefully) brief synopsis of the events of the past week.

I cruise through the profiles on the dating website... looking... reading... briefly assessing potential. I have almost (but not) completely given up on initiating first contact because it just doesn't seem to amount to much. A few brief emails, often rather cryptic in nature, and then it all fizzles out to nothing.

Sometimes, a guy will send me an email. I will then go read their profile and make a decision on whether or not a positive response is appropriate. Sometimes, it is a thanks for the email but no bloody way! Other times, it is a little email conversation... On rare occasions, it results in a 'meet and greet'. More often than not, that meet and greet is the first and last contact. On even rarer occasions, that meet and greet will result in a couple more 'dates'.

I did have what seemed like a promising 'meet and greet' a while back that did result in a few more dates. Nice guy, we seemed to hit it off but when things got a little snuggly on the last date, something happened (or maybe didn't?) and he was never seen nor heard from again. Whatever...

I had an email conversation with a guy a couple weeks back. I initiated it. He'd been to my profile (the website is set to show that if you want others to see your visits - you can be invisible in your cruising as well, if you want to lurk) so I read his profile, thought he sounded interesting, so I sent him a 'hi, how are you?' I always try to make some kind of a comment that relates in some way to something he put in his profile.

He emailed back something about being out on a limb, big changes looming, and that he was sick. Alrighty, then.... I wished him well in the changes and hoped he get better soon and left it at that. He went back and forth a few times with little bits of sentences, separated by many ...s, with little substance and a 'maybe soon we could meet for a coffee'. Then a couple days later, a 'maybe next week, we could meet cuz I'm still in the midst of those big changes'. Then nothing. No bother. I have a very strong feeling (I'm terribly perceptive, you know) that he's a loon and I don't want to have anything to do with him.

Just a couple of nights ago, a guy emailed me. Started with 'Are you there?' Um... hello... You can see that I am logged in... So I emailed back and said hi... after I read his profile. Had to comment on the no photos aspect of it.

I really do prefer to see who I am talking to. Because I have had the experience of emailing back and forth with someone who came across as bright and witty, but when he emailed me a photo (after I asked several times), I was looking at a giant troll! Egads it was scary! I was looking at a man who was 6'5", easily well over 350 lbs, with unruly black hair that was in dire need of a trim, and with a giant black caterpillar crawling across his forehead. A nose that could reel in a 20 lb. trout and lips that probably quivered with each word, they looked so much like raw liver, I rolled my chair back from the computer monitor! I could certainly see why he didn't post a photo on his profile. I had to politely back pedal out of that one because no matter who nice someone is, there isn't a hope in hell I could see myself with someone who looked like that.

Now, I am not so superficial to think that looks are everything... they are not. I am as equally concerned with what exists in a man's head and heart as what his exterior looks like. It has to be a package deal. Most of us meet someone and are attracted to them physically first, before we get to know them personally. It is the personal side that determines if any kind of a relationship is going to develop.

So... back to the guy from a couple of nights ago. (Okay, so this isn't so brief... ) In the course of our little email conversation, he kept saying "you'll like what you see", "you won't be disappointed". Well, wasn't he just full of himself??? Yes, he was a good looking guy... and he's a pilot (I didn't tell him I get airsick in small planes...) and he travels lots. He wants someone to travel with him. I'd love to travel. But not with someone who has the attitude that he's god's gift to women. That's a little too much ego for me thankyouverymuch.

Remember a while back, I blogged about Mr. I live too far away to be spontaneous but still like you and want to get to know you? We're still in contact, although it has been quite sporadic. And at one point, we were talking on the phone and he was asking a lot of stuff that I felt was a little too personal for someone I'd spent all of about 3 hours with and had talked to four times. I got a little testy, we hung up and I figured that was the end of it. Oh well, I thought, too bad because he really was a hottie and had been great fun to talk to and spend a bit of time with. But I figured, given the distance and that phone call, it was over and done with.

So imagine my surprise when he called the other day and asked when I next have some time off. Remember, he's a 'land baron', which in all reality means he sold a huge chunk of his farm and is no longer actively farming and has time on his hands. And he's 47... Not bad, eh? I'm taking this at face value, because of course, I have no way to actually verify that, although (being the internet sleuth that I am) I can verify that in the spring he did indeed have an unreserved auction of farm equipment. So that lends credence to what he has told me so far. He's kept 640 acres that he leases out, so someone else farms it and pays him for the use of the land.

Mr. Land Baron (which is soooo much easier to type out than Mr. I live too far away to be spontaneous but still like you and want to get to know you) is still interested even after I basically told him I was uncomfortable with what he was asking and cut the phone call short. I thought about the situation myself, of course, and decided that I would not, absolutely would not, call him. If anything was going to happen, he would have to think about the situation and decide if he'd been too forward and if he wanted to do something about it. It appears he did. We didn't talk about that in the last phone call, but he did ask when I was free. He initially asked me if I could come to where he is, but I said unless I could bring the dog, no I couldn't. 'Ah... the dog... I forgot about the dog.' he said. Yup. The dog is a part of my life and cannot be ignored. (No one in my family will dogsit for me because she's a drooler. She's the sweetest, quietest, most effortless dog to have in the house, but it's the drool that kills it. I do supply the towels...) So I told him that I am off Nov. 20 - 22. That's it. If he wants to see me, he's got to make the effort to come into town to see me. I let him tell me he'd make that effort. We'll see. Nothing concrete has been set but he did say he'd probably see me then...

Monday evening, I was reading some of the newest profiles online. There was a brief one, no photos, that twigged something in my brain. Seemed familiar. Not anything in the details but just the feel of it, the jist of it... I just looked and left it at that. The next day, after I get home and go online, I have an email that I have a message on the dating site. So I log in and look... and I was right! (yes, that was a previous post just the other day) So we ended up emailing back and forth. Nothing more than that, but a brief rekindling of the friendship we started a year ago. Again, I will not be the one to pursue contact. I will not push it. That doesn't work. I have learned that the hard way and won't do it again. If someone wants to see me, and I am interested, I will leave that up to him to initiate. This one, I would would like very much to have contact me to get together. I don't know if that will ever happen. But one can hope, right?

So that, in a nutshell (yes, I know... it is a very large nutshell), is what's been happening in the Dating Life and Times of Ponita in the vast hinterland of the Canadian Prairies. Now just how exciting is that!

Breaking Up

Jonas... you made my day!!!

In the comments section of my previous post, Jonas left a link for a video. I laughed so hard, I just had to share it with all of you! OMG!!! It is funny!

Tell me this doesn't make you smile out loud!!!

I can't tell... is it half empty or half full???

Remembrance Day

Lest We Forget

My father was in the Royal Canadian Air Force. He never saw battle, but proudly serve our country for many years. I have uncles and grandfathers who served as well, some in battle, others in non-combat positions. One uncle came back with a metal plate in his head.

After my parents divorced and my mum remarried, I discovered my stepfather had served in the Forces as well. As a very young man (he lied about his age and was 17 when he enlisted, I believe) he fought on the beach in Normandy. He was one of the very few survivors from his battalion and to the day he died, he felt guilty that so many of his comrades had died and he had not. It brought him to tears. I cannot even begin to imagine the horror soldiers feel when going into battle, having to kill others and watching their own get killed. Especially a teenager.

Today is Remembrance Day. I was at a meeting this morning and we showed our respect to the troops, both past and present, by listening to this rendition of Taps. This is done by a Dutch girl, Melissa Venema, who was 13 at the time of the performance. It is called Il Silenzio, and is a formal rendition of Taps. Needless to say, we all had tears in our eyes. Taps was played at my father's funeral... the standard rendition. This would have been my choice if I had known about it then.

I was right

Browsing through profiles on the dating website last night, I came across a new one, with no photo, that I hadn't seen before.

I read lots of them. And I have the thing set so that they can see when I visited. Cuz you never know who's out there and if they might be interesting... or interested.

I read this profile and thought to myself... for some reason, this makes me think of a guy I dated for a bit a year ago. The guy who 'wanted to be friends' but who disappeared after saying that and I never heard from him again.

Turns out it is him! He sent me a 'well hello' email today. We emailed back and forth a few times. I KNOW NOW (oops... damn kitten... jumping on the keyboard...) now know what's been happening since then. Well, a brief synopsis anyway. It's been a bugger of a year for him, that's for sure.

But it was all very friendly and nice to hear from him. I have no idea if it will ever be more than just that - a few emails back and forth - but since I liked him then and was rather perturbed with what happened then, I will let it play out which ever way it's going to go.

And I was just thinking today, as I was driving home, that I was going to delete my profile and be done with the whole damn thing anyway. Now I am kind of glad I hadn't done that!

Mad.. as in Hatter

At work today, someone had left lying about a copy a a small magazine entitled 'Preview'.

It gives little write-ups about up and coming movies, telling who stars in them, the basic story line, and when they are to be released.

Now, being single, I don't often go to the movie theatre by myself. On occasion, my sister and I will go. But most often, I wait until it is out on the TV pay per view thingie and watch in the comfort of my own home.

The popcorn is a lot cheaper, and the bathroom much closer.

But the cover of this particular issue razzle dazzled my eyes... Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland... ooooo, I can't wait! It is even being released as a 3D Imax film! The photo spread was very reminiscent of how things look when dropping acid, before the hallucinations really set in... Not that I speak from experience or anything. ahem

The ever fabulous Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter.

Can't you just see this being a fave costume for Halloween in 2010??

Helena Bonham Carter is the Red Queen... deliciously wicked, is she not?

Tweedledee and Tweedledum...

Anne Hathaway is elegant as the White Queen...

Some of the photos in this little spread made me realize that this probably isn't a film to take the little ones to see. And being a Tim Burton flick, you can bet it will have its own special twist!

If everyone cared...