There's a reason but I'm not sure what it is...

Life has been busy of late. I work in a hospital... as a nurse... which means shift work, of course.

That in and of itself brings challenges to a normal daily schedule, because every day has a different schedule... different start times, different end times, different meal times and different walk times.

The dog and cats are pretty good with all that and don't seem to mind my comings and goings.

I am also in the beginnings of a business venture that is in its infancy and will hopefully become successful enough to eventually replace my income from nursing to the point where I can retire from the hospital and work for myself. Which means that most of my spare time is dedicated to growing that business.

I long for some freedom and control regarding my financial future because, as it stands, things are damn tight right now and I have to work extra at the hospital to make ends meet.

Which, of course, cuts in to the time I can devote to my business. Plus there are legal requirements that must be met to be able to conduct business, which means submission of paperwork, attaining of licenses and such. And there have been delays in that regard as well, caused by human error (yeah... mine... I take full responsibility...). And that has raised the frustration level just a tad, but reaching those goals is in sight and dates have been set to get everything into motion. So that's all good.

But life has a way of throwing you curve balls and at the time, you have no idea why or what they mean.

For the past six months, I have been advertising my horse for sale because a back injury precludes riding completely. I can manage in general life quite well but the pelvic rocking (awaits comments on that one...) that is part and parcel of riding a horse causes me incredible discomfort and just isn't worth the risk of doing further damage.

So as much as it pains me emotionally, I have Thunder up for sale. It is very expensive to keep a horse as a pet. And since I can no longer ride, I need to get out from under the board payments. That would ease the financial strain quite a bit for me at this point in time.

Last Wednesday, a woman and her two teenaged daughters came and tried out Thunder for the second time. They decided they wanted to buy him and were just waiting for dad to get home on the 27th to finalize payment details. They didn't put a deposit on him but did ask that they be notified immediately if someone else came along and wanted to buy him. They were excited and kept saying they were really looking forward to having him.

Now a horse is not an easy thing to sell. This one is young but well trained, a real character but respectful, very friendly and gets along well with other horses. He loves to do stuff and would be perfect for a couple of girls to ride every day. I was very happy with where he would be going, as it seemed like the perfect home for him.

I wasn't going to count my eggs before they hatched, but I was getting excited that I would finally have found a good home for Thunder, and would get some money that would certainly help out the old bank account.

Today, I got a text message from my girlfriend, who is a horse trainer and does the selling for me. The people found a different horse and decided to buy that one instead. So needless to say, I am hugely disappointed. Hugely is probably an understatement... I am crushed because I thought my horse, whom I have had since he was a yearling and love him to bits, would be going to a really great new home. And because I desperately needed the money.

So now... I have to wait to see why this happened. What else will come along? Who out there will be a better new owner for Thunder? So I am left pondering the universe and trying to see that light at the end of the tunnel... and hoping it is not a damn train!